Life In Bonita Springs

Donna The Duchess

She’s nothing but trouble, I say, don’t let the Miss Breck hair fool you.  She’d short sheet your bed or throw firecrackers in your campfire the minute she got the chance.

I thought I’d find a few of the classic pictures to scan and post of mommy dearest but I just couldn’t find many that I think she’d approve of.  She’s a lady that tries to control her 1.0 media.

What a trip going through a box of old photos. The weddings, the birthdays, the pranks and practical jokes.  It’s all documented for posterity.

Now, what you might not know about my mom is that she was the quintessential lady about the manor farm wife from the mid west and she was probably “going to town” for a birthday or New Years or something in that dress.  Either that or somebody died.

She raised her children with dignity, manners and even considered boarding … reform … military home schooling to give them the most that life had to offer.

Farm life wasn’t going to hold her children back from learning proper etiquette and the formalities needed to really get places in life.  A mother can love and teach her children the ways of the world and the appreciation and need for higher education.

Refinement can be built and taught, it need not be born into a child.  Children are molded by their mothers and the end result is the ultimate trophy of life – well rounded socially acceptable children and a family that is envied by the neighbors.

I wonder if she knew that while she was posing for that picture, we were being “refined” in the next room like this:

Counter clockwise starting at the left: My brother, Dimples – who made me drink green Dawn dish soap that one time when he baby sat, my cousin Alex, Gramps, Cram who obviously needs a nap, me – my eyes got stuck like that from drinking green Dawn dish soap, my father, a traffic cone, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Canai [yes you can] wine in a glass, not a jar.  Proving that, oh yeah, you can teach refinement.

I love you Mom!  I swear.

Killing Time on Hickory Pointe

Sometimes when real estate agents have to go check our listings to make sure they’re secure after a showing it’s an average day.  Some days it’s just so darn pretty.  Today I drove to Bonita Beach to check a condo at Dolphin Way.  This was the view out the front door.  The water was exceptionally blue.  I was the only person not in a bathing suit.  Bummer. 

I can’t imagine living in a beachfront condo or gulf front home, walking out the door and having sand on my feet. I’d never get any work done. 

Shouldn’t Real Estate Buyers Actually Buy?

Never will your home seem to be instantly sold more so than the day you mention to your friends, neighbors or colleagues that you’re putting it on the market. Suddenly, it seems people come out of the woodwork that really, really secretly loved your home and have always wanted to buy it. Maybe it’s just the idea that they are scooping everyone or getting “first crack” at a new offering that peaks their interest.

Ask any real estate agent and they’ll tell you dozens of circumstances when they list a home and the seller says, “You know so-in-so has expressed interest. Would you mind adding them as an exclusion to the listing contract?” The reality of the situation is that the overwhelming majority of the time the property simply doesn’t sell to that buyer.

Over the years I’ve had several circumstances where phantom buyers of real estate were excluded from a listing contract for a period of time. One that sticks out in my mind was a couple touring a condo I was listing at the same time that the sellers were finalizing the listing paperwork.

We’re Not Sure We Want to Buy

The buyers wanted two weeks to make up their mind whether they really wanted to buy the condominium or not. They, of course, would prefer that the condo not be listed while they make up their mind. Losing two weeks of the busy winter tourist season in Southwest Florida is a high cost for a “maybe buyer”. Add to that the holding costs associated with waiting on a maybe and the seller’s bottom line starts shrinking.

The sellers decided to list in spite of the fact that they had a potential buyer wandering around. I offered the sellers a blank contract and let them know that if the buyers were really buyers they were welcome to write the sales contract and save the expenses of real estate commission.

The sellers had originally looked at those phantom buyers as potential. The reality is they were just a potential fly in the ointment. If they wanted to buy the condo, they would have moved forward and bought it or at least offered an agreement with time periods to satisfy any objections that were holding them back.

As the buyers walked out the door that day they also asked to be contacted, right away, if anyone else made an offer in the next two weeks. Basically, when there was another qualified, motivated buyer on board they wanted us to call them so they could then muddy the waters with an offer, that they weren’t committed to making and following through with only days earlier.

Throwing Away The Best Buyer

I later asked the sellers, “If someone walks through the door tomorrow and offers you full price, cash, closing in days do you think it would be in your best interest to call them?”

As expected, the phantom buyers for this condo never pulled the trigger.

The real goal when selling your home is actually selling your home. Picking up the tab while a buyer with commitment issues makes up their mind costs time and money.

Unless that phantom buyer puts an offer on paper, they’re usually just window shopping on your dime and wasting your time.

###

Real Life in Bonita Springs is a project by Chris Griffith dedicated to writing useful blog posts for consumers about the Bonita Springs, Florida area.  Find out what it is really like to live in Bonita Springs, Florida by reading about our fair city. You’ll get the latest in local real estate information, Bonita Springs real estate market reports and a little bit of humor.  If you have topic ideas, feel free to request a story about the idea, after all, this site is just for you.

You can subscribe to a weekly email newsletter by visiting www.LifeInBonitaSprings.com and entering your email in the subscription area on the left pane of the web page or by adding us to your reader by subscribing to this blog. Oh, and if you’re reading this content anywhere else but www.LifeInBonitaSprings.com or Naples Daily News it is probably stolen.

Chinese Drywall Checklist

I received the contents of this post in an email and thought the signs of Chinese Drywall was so well documented that it was worth sharing on the blog.  The photo examples are superb.  If you suspect your home has Chinese drywall you may find a few ways to self test the home before calling an expert.    Of course, the author of this content is an expert and you should probably call him.  Russell Hensel has 25 years of home inspection experience.  Phone:  239-481-3977

Does the residence have a sulfur or rotten eggs smell?  Do not get this confused with a water heater that has been sitting for a while, it gives off the same odor.  Be careful.  Look for more that just one of the signs.

Have any of your electrical appliances failed to operate or have they needed regular repair or replacement before they typical life expectancy?

Check wall mounted mirrors for blackening or lack of luster.

Inspect metal surfaces on plumbing fixtures for staining/and or pitting.

With electrical covers off at the outlet and the cover removed from the circuit breaker box look for the ground wire (copper wire) for blackening and corrosion.

Inspect air conditioning coils for blackening and corrosion.  This calls for the removal of one of the Air Handlers access panels.

If possible look a the back of the drywall on the wall which can be sometimes seen at access panels or underneath stairs.

Inspect Jewelry/metal objects - has any of your silver tarnished more rapidly than normal?  has gold become speckled or tarnished?

The copper lines at the refrigerator turn black and corrode.

Please do not inspect anything you are unsure about.  Electrical wiring is dangerous and can lead to injury or death.  Have professionals perform the services you are not familiar with.

13650 Fiddlesticks Blvd.  Suite 202-399

Fort Myers, Florida  33912

Website:  Chinese drywall inspection Email:  russell (at) bestinspector.com

10 Bloggers That I Find way Interesting

Besides writing this Bonita Springs real estate blog I read a lot of blogs.  Not all of the blogs are real estate, mortgage or housing related.  Not all of the blogs are politically correct.

I’m an early riser.  Before I get rolling my day usually includes a steaming hot cup of coffee so strong and vile it could repel most living creatures.  I fire up the Acer and start reading my faves, just like people use to do with the newspaper. My newspaper is just electronic now. 

That little RSS square you see on web pages?  I actually use that and subscribe to blogs through my feed reader.   Go ahead and click it. It will open in a new window and show you different places you can start feed readers besides Google, too.

If you’re not sure how a feed reader works, it works like this:  You know how you watch TV and can change channels to see channels from all over the world instead of driving to each of those cities television studios and watching the show live?  Well that’s what a feed reader does.  A feed reader is your “TV” and every blog that you add is a new “channel”.  When I click on that RSS symbol or add the URL to my reader in Google it adds the [channel] feed.

Now, all that being said here is my top ten enjoyable list of blogs /bloggers to read.  Some real estate, some not, some very funny, some just great reading or eye candy.  Enjoy1

Chickens in The Road
The Pioneer Woman
The Putnam Scoop
1000 Watt Blog
Boobs Injuries and Dr. Pepper
I Am Bossy.com
Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder
Magnificent Bastard
Post Secret
Smitten Kitchen

The Brooks of Estero Neighborhood Directory

The Brooks of Estero Florida is comprised of four master planned communities - Shadow Wood, Copperleaf, Lighthouse Bay and Spring Run.

There is a community and housing style for everyone at The Brooks.  The communities of the Brooks are built upon 2,490 acres of land which features many wild life preserves, lakes and golf course. Each community offers their own first class amenity package.

This Brooks of Estero real estate directory is color coded and runs counter clockwise starting with Blue – Shadow Wood, the luxury golf community.  Click the button to the community you would like to know more about.

Shadow Wood at The Brooks is a gated community which offers a golf equity membership private golf course, country club, swimming and tennis.

Copperleaf at The Brooks is a gated community which offers a bundled golf membership program, country club with dining, swimming and tennis.

Lighthouse Bay at The Brooks is the non-golf community that offers clubhouse, resort and lane pool swimming, tennis, fitness center and small lake boats.

Spring Run at The Brooks is a gated community which offers a bundled golf membership program, country club with dining, swimming and tennis.

The Commons Club – Enrichment Center at The Brooks offers an optional recreational membership  private fitness, dining at Rosie Spoonbill’s and beach club.

The Brooks Town Center is a public shopping area that offers a Grocery Store plus many other shops and restaurants. Where Coconut Road meets Three Oaks.

Estero Florida Food Festival

What:  2nd Annual Taste of Estero at Estero Community Park
When:  Sunday, May 3, 2009
Time:  11:00 am to 5:00 pm
Free Admission

Great Entertainment
Alter Ego
Geek Skwad
A200

What’s Next? Newton’s Law of Motion

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  This is what happens when you, I mean me, throws a granola bar out the car window in the Coconut Point Mall parking lot.  Lets say I just wanted to watch the pretty birds fly and take their picture. 

Ever see those insurance commercials?  What’s next? 

Here’s the clue:  Granola goes in one end, something else comes out the other end.  I lose.

*That’s* what’s next.

Here’s Some Little Know Facts

Today’s my birthday so I decided to roast my alleged family myself and spare any of my prankster friends the indignity they may cause themselves posting embarrassing tid-bits about me.  I’d also purge myself of the truths I’ve been hiding from you, my readers and the public.  It’s all sordid and shameful, but here goes.

If you haven’t guessed yet, my mom was Annette Funicello. It’s true, look at the photo.  Annette, I mean my mom, really bounced back after having a baby, if I must say so myself. 

In addition to having a famous mother, my brother was on the brink of fame, as well.  ‘Member Eddy Haskell? Well that’s him before he became the blatant kiss ass you all loved to hate from the show Leave it To Beaver. 

See his little hands?  There’s probably a peanut or a cherry pit or something in there that he’ll jam up my tiny baby nose when Annette’s not looking.  That’s how he rolled.  A teflon coated attacker that complimented Annette on her Romanesque choice in thong sandals long enough to distract her from seeing him pinch me and ram something up my nose.

Staged Family & A Baby in The Bull Rushes

This photo was taken at the exact moment that I realized why Annette looked good after *allegedly* having a baby - I was  adopted.  I had to be.  It’s the only thing that makes sense from this point forward.  Eddy Haskell over there on the left with, with the blue eyes and dimples showing, can not possibly be my brother.  He’s the only one in this crew with blue eyes and besides, I only have dimples like that on the backs of my thighs.  The man on the right *pretending to be my father* was simply the first man who attempted, and failed, to quiet me.

A Smart Ass Since Birth

They should have known I was trouble then.  This, this was the second to the last time anyone ever took me seriously.  You see, I don’t put up with stuff.  The lies, the deceit, the adoption or the babies switched at birth thing, whichever it was.  In an attempt to break my spirit and control me the unthinkable then began; cow milking, butter churning, hay baling and chicken plucking.  Eva Gabor and I have tons in common.  New York is where I’d rather be, too, Eva.  You got it right, toots!

Cattle Farmer 2.0

Tada! I was a classic over achiever back then, too.  Look, I was a kick ass farmer and had a champion cow at the age of nine - Farmer 2.0. Check out that trophy the gnome is holding.  Yeah, that’s my younger brother Cram with brown, not blue, eyes.  (Cram is Marc spelled backwards)  That sibling abuse thing is passed down generation to generation.  Live with it, Cram.  I lived with it when dimples kicked my ass on a regular basis and made me drink Dawn dish soap when he was “babysitting”.   All you had to do was hold my trophy, put up with the “Cram” thing and push my car out of the ditch that one time.  I say you got off easier than drinking a dish soap cocktail.  *sobs* He didn’t even put an umbrella-ella-ella in it.

There you have it folks.  The life and times of a middle child having a midlife birthday crisis, all boiled down to 600 words or less.

Aren’t you glad I stopped before I started scanning photos with ‘80’s hair, braces and prom photos? We’ll save that for the big Four Three.

Real Estate Scams | Stealing From Tenants

About a week ago I received a phone call from a college student who was in the process of securing a rental for the coming school year. A couple of students had gotten together, decided to become room mates for the following school year and were in the process of previewing potential rentals.

These young men had found a home for rent that met their budget and was located within reasonable proximity to school and work. They went to look at the home and possibly secure an agreement for rental. They were unaccompanied by their parents. I mention that not because they weren’t responsible enough to do it themselves but because they could have easily been taken advantage of due to their lack of experience.

By the time one in the group called me they had been asked for 1,100 up front for back ground checks, with no signed contract involved. When they kept asking for a contract first the push got hard from the “owner” to get the money up front, first.

The more questions the tenants asked about the background check and the lease agreement, the shiftier the “owner” seemed to act. None of their questions were answered to any degree of satisfaction and when they went outside to speak privately the owner even crept over to a window and cracked it to eavesdrop. The whole situation felt wrong to them.

These young men had a gut instinct that was telling them something was fishy. They listened to the little voice that told them not to go forward with this property. Regardless of whether there suspicions of this being a scam were right or wrong they didn’t have enough information about the property, the owners or even the state of the mortgage to proceed. They kept their wallet closed and it was the right thing to do.

Whether you’re a college student or retiree looking for a rental you need to know that there are less than reputable people out there working any scam they can and that includes renting homes that aren’t even theirs to lease.

Most of the information tenants need to verify home ownership is actually public record. Before you shell out any cash for a rental, check the ownership of the home, the name in the tax roll or the clerks office and make sure it matches their photo ID. If the home is owned by a corporation or LLC check the sunbiz.org to see if the person is an officer of the company.

It’s just way too easy for a dishonest person to find a vacant home, even an ad for that particular home for sale online, scrape the pictures from the web and create their own “for rent by owner” advertisement in the classifieds or Craigslist.

A little bit of homework can save tenants a stack of cash if they’re dealing with a rental scam. Rentals are plentiful at this time, also. So if you’re feeling uneasy with a situation you may be better served by finding another rental with an owner willing to answer all your questions, properly document the lease and operate on up and up.

###

Real Life in Bonita Springs is a project by Chris Griffith dedicated to writing useful blog posts for consumers about the Bonita Springs, Florida area.  Find out what it is really like to live in Bonita Springs, Florida by reading about our fair city. You’ll get the latest in local real estate information, Bonita Springs real estate market reports and a little bit of humor.  If you have topic ideas, feel free to request a story about the idea, after all, this site is just for you.

You can subscribe to a weekly email newsletter by visiting www.LifeInBonitaSprings.com and entering your email in the subscription area on the left pane of the web page or by adding us to your reader by subscribing to this blog. Oh, and if you’re reading this content anywhere else but www.LifeInBonitaSprings.com or Naples Daily News it is probably stolen.