Friction, Bonita Springs Pocket Sand & The Luxury of Small Things

Everything Leaves a Mark

Everything we’ve done, experienced, and survived leaves a mark. Years ago, I realized I had to start fixing the things that were quietly stealing my peace. Not dramatic things—but little, annoying, repetitive things that kept interfering with my progress. We tolerate so much in our daily lives that we really don’t have to. Why? I don’t know, but we do—because nobody ever said we don’t have to, I guess. Well, I decided I was going to say something and share with you how almost nothing is really something.

The process wasn’t linear or logical. Honestly, the journey looked random and borderline nonsensical. Most people wouldn’t understand it. But here’s what I know: a million small victories can be life-changing.

The Grain of Sand Theory

Since we live in Bonita Springs, Florida, let’s use a grain of sand … since it’s everywhere. A grain of sand seems insignificant… until you’ve collected a million of them. Then it’s pocket sand—and then it’s a weapon. LOL!

Friction: The Stuff We Carry

I started calling these annoying things “friction”… and most people are dragging around a lifetime of it or putting up with it daily. My friend Peggy shared the original term Kaizen. You can search that and read up on it. My version is the American, middle-aged Bonita Springs Realtor, empty nester, just lost my significant other after my own year of almost dying, surthriver version. I’m fine now. Recovered! So you better still call me to list your home because I am still the best listing agent in Bonita Springs Florida.

We become adults with wild friction that we collected as goofy kids – disappointments from adults. Injustices. Abandonment. Neglect. Loneliness. Abuse. Nail biting. Bad habits. Being disorganized. Not having goals. We collected friction before we even realized it. And if we didn’t deal with it, we start putting up with new friction on top of the old: bad relationships, unbalanced friendships, financial stress, raising kids, legal drama, medical issues—you name it.

Eventually, if you’re lucky, you hit a point where you say: “This isn’t working for me anymore.” That’s when you get to start choosing: What friction can I tolerate? What friction can I eliminate, change, or delegate? Because big or small, friction adds up.

Ending a toxic relationship? That’s a dump truck full of sand.

Switching to felt-covered hangers because your clothes keep falling off cheap hangers? That’s one grain of sand… a luxury—unless you’re in kidney failure. Then it’s a whole wheelbarrow of sand. I laughed writing that because it’s ridiculous and true. Unless you’ve had kidney failure you can’t fathom how exhausting it is to bend over and pick up dropped clothes once, let alone every day. It wasted energy I didn’t have—and no one knew I was silently suffering through all of it. That’s the thing: people rarely understand the full weight of what you're carrying. And sometimes? We throw our own pocket sand in our own faces by trying to “tough it out.” I stood in the closet crying over a shirt on the floor—again—and decided to change the hangers so I didn't have to pick clothes up ever again.

The Closet, the Luxury Hangers, and the Breaking Point

My hanger revelation came to me while standing inside a “tiny home.” I purchased a home in Rio Vista Estates to live a tiny little life in Downtown Bonita Springs, Florida. I was supposed to suffer and die, but I didn’t—thanks to the huge heart of an altruistic kidney donor who saved my life. Lest I digress. But it’s real and it happened, and you also need to know that there are good people who do fabulous things.

Your Friction Checklist

Both before and after my recovery, I was always being mindful and identifying all the little friction points in my life. I barely had the bandwidth to do an annoying task once—let alone if it made me sigh, clench my fists, or mutter under my breath.

There’s no big moral here except to tell you to look at your friction. Here’s a checklist of ways to reduce it:

• Fix something small today.
• Tighten the loose doorknob.
• Make a list of annoying things and have a handy person fix it all.
• Get the felted hangers.
• Hang new artwork.
• Hire a housekeeper once or once a month.
• Move the trash can so you don’t have to walk so far.
• Say “no” to something you really don't want to do.
• Don’t let people dump their work or responsibility on you.
• Assign something to someone else.
• Block people on social media who don't deserve you.
• Limit your exposure to news and negativity.
• Say “yes” to peace and good things.
• Make the call to someone who deserves to hear from you.
• Quit the job that’s draining you.
• Put a pretty magnet over the knuckle prints the tenant put in your fridge.
• Not everyone earned or deserves access to you.
• Eat healthier food.
• Go to church or read the word.
• Clear the junk drawer.
• Limit toxic people in your life.
• Not all family needs to stay in your bubble.
• “You up girl?” messages at 1 AM are for hookers—I said what I said—on Sunday morning, no less.
• Recaulk something so your home is prettier.
• Ask your kids “what’s in it for me?” when they demand something of the cash cow.
• Ask yourself with every decision, “How will this improve my life?”

Build Your Own Bonita Beach, Gain Some Peace

Do one thing that reduces friction in your life today—and maybe be mindful of doing it again tomorrow. It might just be one grain of sand now—but one day, you’ll look back and realize you built your own beach full of the finest sand that money can’t buy.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find you have more peace, more time, less anxiety, more joy—or just more time to sit quietly and rest, think, or create.

That’s all. Enjoy your Sunday.