St. Joseph The Last Ditch Home Selling Method
When I was growing up in Northern Ohio I recall finding Indian artifacts in the fields. I grew up on a farm near the river and not far from Lake Erie so it would appear that it was a primo spot for hunting and growing crops. There were arrowheads all over the place. After every rain it was fairly easy to find them on the surface of the soil.
Generations had passed and there were still remnants of great hunters and warriors working their way to surface. While the people were gone their tools remained. Little could the Native American have imagined that there’d be cattle roping and tractors carrying on right where they lived and hunted only a couple of hundred years later.
There are artifacts in the making right now even as you read this. Besides the landfills we leave with the evidence of our disposable, consumerism civilization we’re also working on a great puzzle for whatever beings end up inhabiting Southwest Florida a couple hundred or thousand years from now.
As if the Barbie doll isn’t going to be confusing enough for a future civilization to figure out, they’re also going to be digging up plastic figurines in residential flower beds all over Florida. Follow along and imagine some sort of futuristic “Antiques Road Show” segment where a random person brings in a St. Joseph statue to find out “the story” what it’s worth.
The expert will go into great detail weaving the tale of the great North American real estate investor wanting to charm the heavens into bringing them a buyer by burying a patron saint in their front yard for luck and praying for the legend to work. Why they’d even share the interesting tidbit about how some of the statues date back to the late 1970’s but there seemed to be a later, more concentrated number of these unusual idols in Las Vegas, Nevada, Phoenix, Arizona and a good bit of Florida, for some strange reason.
The real fortunes were made selling the statuettes. Over the last half dozen years millions of home owners made a last ditch effort to locate a buyer for their real estate by burying St. Joseph. Hopefully they buried him in the most effective manner. The so-called most effective manner is highly debatable because the directions vary depending upon who manufactured St. Joseph - Patron Saint of Home and Family.
There are dozens of St. Joseph home seller directions out there: standing up, head side down, facing the door, facing the street or under the for sale sign … unless the home owner association doesn’t allow signs then it’s back to the flower bed. There probably isn’t a provision for homeowner associations in the scripture, so that must have been a gray area with which manufacturers were able to take certain liberties before they asked for as much as $39 plus shipping and handling.
In the end, a home will eventually sell whether there’s an upside down artifact in the making interred out front or not. Everyone knows the real secret to selling a house is to plan a once in a lifetime vacation. You’d be sure to find a buyer who desires a closing precisely when you’ve planned to be on safari in Tanzania.
It never hurts to have faith and if you choose to put the legend of a saint to help out, it’s only a Google search and a garden spade away. Faith can move mountains and may even move real estate but so can a price reduction.
Maybe they should print that just above the Novena to St. Joseph in the “St. Joseph Home Selling Kit”.
Real Life in Bonita Springs is a project by Chris Griffith dedicated to writing useful blog posts for consumers about the Bonita Springs, Florida area. Find out what it is really like to live in Bonita Springs, Florida by reading about our fair city. You’ll get the latest in local real estate information, Bonita Springs real estate market reports and a little bit of humor. If you have topic ideas, feel free to request a story about the idea, after all, this site is just for you.
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