Mawma, I GOT AN AIRBOAT
If you asked me what the Fakahatchee Strand was 5, 10, 20 years ago I’d guess some thing: “It was a strand of pearls … so brilliant and cherished that all the Fakahatcheeans wanted it as their own.”
The truth of the matter is that I know it’s a part of the Everglades but I haven’t experienced it up close and personal. By up close and personal I mean in an air boat … until Lumberjack works the kinks out of his new airboat. See those feet up there? They’re Lumberjack’s.
These Colors Don’t Run
Maybe the colors do run but that is all I could think of what else to write while looking directly at the red neck of a red neck standing in front of a blue boat. He’s named the boat Jenny. It’s pronounced “Jen-nay” just like Forest Gump’s boat. Serious.
See this series of three bolts, props, etc., below?
This is an integral part to an airboat
All I know is that if I’m going to be on this boat I need to have my hair pulled up in a bun, like a school matron or I’m getting my scalp yanked off. (The men told me scarey stories. I don’t believe most of them but I’m just scared enough to “bun”.)
Men Only, No Womens aLLOWED
There was a lot of testosterone at the “meet the air boat” party. They let me in anyway. Then they tried to give me lessons on how to gig and prepare a frog. Uh … no thanks. Why the heck would anyone eat a frog?
No Womens Allowed Here, Either
She’s a beaut, Lumberjack. (Insert, arrh arrh arrh like Tim Allen from “Home Improvement”.
They won’t let women around the man boat because they say we don’t know what we’re doing and will hurt ourselves on accident. I know *exactly* what *I’m* doing. I even came dressed and ready with my canoe shoes on.
I can’t wait to get out on this airboat. After the kinks are worked out and my hair is in a bun. Lumberjack and I have boating history already. We’re almost pro’s. Read also: Canoeing the Imperial River
If you’re looking for a pro airboat company to take a ride contact Corey Billie Airboat Rides. Ask for Griff. No, he’s a different Griff but he’s a native and a whole bunch more responsible than us Griff’s.