Brats

The Tag Team Wrecking Crew

For those of you who don’t know I have a couple of kids. I’m a mom, too. They are actually twins. When I do things I always go big. I’m also efficient so I figured having a litter was an effective way to cut “down time” and carrying costs. I wasn’t exactly built to breed so that “save time & money” pregnancy was a good call.

The wonder twins are grown and gone at this point. While in the middle of raising them I cursed the twin gods for the punishment. I actually miss some of the shenanigans, now. To this day, nobody, I repeat, nobody has fessed up to how the toilet was broken off of the floor. You know there had to be a Class A wrestling match. I know someone had to get bruised or hurt during that scuffle. I saw three young people do the “I don’t know” schrug when I asked how it happened. I quit yelling about the bathroom at that point. There was already two chunks out of the porcelain tub, Mini-Me had pre-treated a stain on her shirt and forgotten she left the sink running flooding the bathroom, the soap tray fell out of the wall in the shower so I quit getting upset. I made up my mind to have the bathroom remodeled when they left. I did. Stripped it down to the studs and they’re not allowed to even come visit anymore.

I better get a card or something today for the hell they put me through. I’d settle for someone washing my car.