WWMPD? - What Would Marlin Perkins Do?
Grown men have been driven to madness by a one ounce bird. There is a street in a little community in Bonita Springs, Florida with twenty two homes. Some of the homes have Styrofoam faux flower boxes on the front of them. These cottages are just adorable, or rather, were adorable. It seems that there are a couple of little rascals flying round there that like Styrofoam and have turned them into Swiss cheese.
Woodpeckers are holy terrors and cause thousands of dollars worth of damage. There are many remedies available and most of what is sold commercially as a repellent is a total bust and it's expensive. Mostly it's an expensive experiment that fails. Most of the home remedies include hanging rubber snakes on your house, putting fake owls on ledges and a couple of other stupid ideas that just make a person's home look like the Beverly Hillbilly's live there. The best repellent that's been discovered so far and lasted about six months was adding Tabasco sauce to the paint. It turns out that wood peckers don't like hot sauce or maybe they just don't care for the idea of home remedies. You can't kill them but I guess you can give one a burning beak and an ulcer. There you have it, woodpeckers don't like Tabasco.
So you're thinking why would any Bonita Springs home owner investigate how to "nicely" get a woodpecker to go away - for good? It turns out that the stinkers are protected. You'd need a special permit granted by the Department of Fish and Wildlife to catch or relocate them. Color me logical, but I'm thinking they don't pass that little permit out to every owner of real estate in Bonita Springs justbecause they ask or just because they don't like birds. Imagine Marge and Harry Homeowner applying for a hunting permit for a woodpecker. Recreational, do it yourself bird trapping? I'm thinking they have to have reached some sort of skill level before they're allowed to start bird trapping.
Read also: Woodpecker Damage Control (I wish you could hear me laugh right now) This helpful, handy manual will teach you the ins and outs of sharing your little piece of Bonita Springs with nature.
You probably drive by homes and businesses every day that are hosting the wood peckers and their nests. Next time you go to First Watch, the Bonefish Grill or any of the buildings adjacent to San Mirage on US 41 look for the tell tale signs of Swiss cheese foam and bird poo running down the side of the building. The last time I had breakfast at First Watch it looked like it was snowing outside. The woodpeckers were having a filed day on the foam right above the window.
This could be your lucky day and you didn't even know it. If you're a Bonita Springs home owner and you don't have wood pecker issues, your house wasn't made out of Styrofoam. Consider yourself lucky and go buy a lotto ticket!